


If Phones Could Talk: Athos

by musicmillennia



Series: Musket Books [2]
Category: The Musketeers (2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Asthmatic Characters, Bromance, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Texting, Writer Athos, nerd talk, puns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-13
Updated: 2015-08-13
Packaged: 2018-04-14 10:28:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4561122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/musicmillennia/pseuds/musicmillennia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Athos Texting is very different from Athos Talking. Constance loves it; she loves it even more when she finds out she's the only one who gets the full brunt of Athos Texting, because that means it's their thing.</p><p>She takes this as permission to save a few. For scientific reasons of behavioral analysis. Also because it's fucking hilarious.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If Phones Could Talk: Athos

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Blowin' Up My Phone](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2031984) by [RobinLorin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RobinLorin/pseuds/RobinLorin). 



> Turns out writing these are therapeutic to my grieving process, so whether you guys want it or not I'm writing more of these. On that note, a BIG thank you to those who liked Chocolate Hercules! :D really made my day.
> 
> Fun fact: some of these texts are based on actual conversations I have had with my friends. Can you guess which ones are based on fact and which ones are not?

Athos and Constance have a bromance forged in the fires of university—of carrying each other's spare inhalers, being partners in fencing class, and staying over at each other's dorm jacked up on caffeine so the other could have any hope of passing their test tomorrow. They  _get_ each other. Therefore, when Athos texts her, he doesn't bother hiding the fact that he prefers texting so much more to calling. His inner introvert rejoices at the opportunity to talk to his friends without actually having to  _talk_.

Ergo, Athos Texting is very different from Athos Talking. Constance loves it; she loves it even more when she finds out she's the only one who gets the full brunt of Athos Texting, because that means it's _their_ thing.

She takes this as permission to save a few. For scientific reasons of behavioral analysis. Also because it's fucking hilarious.

* * *

 

**Athos (00:34)**

Do u thnk Backstreet Boys is conducive 4 good writng?

 

**Constance (00:34)**

I guess it depends on the writer

 

**Athos (00:34)**

Tru

 

**Constance (00:35)**

Either way I'll be laughing about this for a Millenium

 

**Athos (00:36)**

Did u just

 

**Constance (00:36)**

My face is turning Black & Blue just thinking about it

 

**Athos (00:37)**

Omg

 

* * *

 

**Athos (2:13)**

Constance did u no pigs can orgasm 4 30 min

 

She replies with a picture of a Power Off button.

 

* * *

 

**Constance (16:42)**

Anne doesn't get my Star Trek refs wtf did you do during your marriage

 

**Athos (16:42)**

Bullshit. I put her thru the orig series & next gen

 

**Constance (16:44)**

She denies it. I'm going to smack her.

 

**Athos (16:44)**

Make it so Number One

 

* * *

 

**Constance (22:30)**

Omg are they ever going to stop

 

They're at one of Louis' parties and his new girlfriend Charlotte and he are fawning over each other like they want Constance's fist in their faces. She could do without the reminder that she's alone tonight.

Athos raises an eyebrow at her when he gets the text. His fingers start flying across his screen, and after about a minute Constance feels her phone vibrate.

 

**Athos (22:32)**

Hi Pot this is Kettle

[photo attachment]

 

It's a picture of Aramis and Porthos at Tréville's birthday. However, Athos has drawn a big red arrow pointing to the background, where Anne is being fed cake by Constance.

Constance smirks.

 

**Constance (22:33)**

Sorry

[photo attachment]

 

**Constance (22:33)**

I

[photo attachment]

 

**Constance (22:34)**

Couldn't

[photo attachment]

 

**Constance (22:34)**

Hear

[photo attachment]

 

**Constance (22:34)**

You

[photo attachment]

 

**Constance (22:35)**

Over

[photo attachment]

 

**Constance (22:35)**

All

[photo attachment]

 

**Constance (22:36)**

Your

[photo attachment]

 

**Constance (22:36)**

Bullshit

[photo attachment]

 

**Athos (22:37)**

Wtf y do u have so many

 

**Constance (22:37)**

For moments like these, my friend. For moments like these.

 

* * *

 

**Athos (00:44)**

Can u do me a favor

 

**Constance (00:45)**

Of course what is it?

 

**Athos (00:46)**

Hve 2 wrte this fantasy piece & I need a warm up. Give me garbage.

 

**Constance (00:47)**

Lol okay give me a sec

 

**Athos (00:47)**

No rush.

 

**Constance (00:49)**

Alright how about this: mandroids take over the world.

 

**Constance (00:49)**

or maybe a snooty romance on a gay reality tv show. with a sparkly werewolf.

 

**Athos (00:49)**

Cn the tv show be about the gay mandroid overlords & their sparkly werewolf friend? like the Kardashians but mandroids

 

**Constance (00:50)**

Amazing

 

**Athos (00:50)**

"I wasted everyone's oil and everyone's repairs"

 

**Athos (00:51)**

And the sparkly werewolf is used 4 dance prties. 1 of the mandroids shines his built-in projectr @ him and boom. growly disco ball.

 

**Constance (00:51)**

Genius

 

**Athos (00:52)**

Thank u Constance that should suffice

 

**Constance (00:52)**

Anytime dear.

 

* * *

 

**Constance (18:05)**

Excited for the big 3-0?

 

**Athos (18:05)**

So excited I could almst not b sarcastic

 

* * *

 

The most recent one that Constance loves to pieces is as follows:

 

**Athos (11:48)**

Need discreet Spider-Man 4 my Deadpool @ SDCC u in

 

**Constance (11:50)**

Omfg are you serious

 

**Athos (11:51)**

Hve I ever jokd about SDCC snce uve met me

 

**Constance (11:51)**

No but you can have sarcastic tendencies

 

**Athos (11:51)**

Ure confusing me w/ D'Artagnan

 

**Constance (11:52)**

Lol true. YES I will go!!! Thank you!

 

**Athos (11:52)**

Who else wuld I tke?

 

**Athos (11:53)**

Tell no1

 

**Constance (11:54)**

Athos, for this, Spider-Man will kiss you.

 

**Athos (11:54)**

Please dnt

**Author's Note:**

> Another fun fact: NSYNC and Britney Spears joined the Backstreet Boys for this.
> 
> Thank you for reading!


End file.
